Disbeleaving
I cannot believe that I am actually leaving.
After sadness, the phase of disbelief has begun.
Everything here is so terribly normal. Even though I can remember the moment I arrived like it was yesterday, one semester has still turned out to be a long period. And I can hardly imagine living elsewhere anymore (at least, that's the feeling I have right now).
-
I cannot believe that I am actually going.
I cannot imagine living in Utrecht. In the Netherlands.
Will I be able to adapt, to behave like I should in the Netherlands? Well of course I'll manage - I'll shift quickly enough I'm sure, but it's just that I realise how many little things I've started to do differently. I remember wondering about a lot of things - small everyday things - when I came here, and often finding them strange, or silly: the 'queue here' signs, the pedestrian crossings with their light bulb lanters, the way lectures are conducted, the way the university is managed, the way no 'grown up' ever gets even slightly personal during work/teaching (except for my very American teacher).
But now I cannot imagine these things to be otherwise. And you're right that as soon as I'm back, I'll shift again, and four months were not so long after all.
But not today. Today, I feel very much away.
After sadness, the phase of disbelief has begun.
Everything here is so terribly normal. Even though I can remember the moment I arrived like it was yesterday, one semester has still turned out to be a long period. And I can hardly imagine living elsewhere anymore (at least, that's the feeling I have right now).
-
I cannot believe that I am actually going.
I cannot imagine living in Utrecht. In the Netherlands.
Will I be able to adapt, to behave like I should in the Netherlands? Well of course I'll manage - I'll shift quickly enough I'm sure, but it's just that I realise how many little things I've started to do differently. I remember wondering about a lot of things - small everyday things - when I came here, and often finding them strange, or silly: the 'queue here' signs, the pedestrian crossings with their light bulb lanters, the way lectures are conducted, the way the university is managed, the way no 'grown up' ever gets even slightly personal during work/teaching (except for my very American teacher).
But now I cannot imagine these things to be otherwise. And you're right that as soon as I'm back, I'll shift again, and four months were not so long after all.
But not today. Today, I feel very much away.
posted by Anna P.H. Geurts | 4:37 pm
